Apologies to the 14 year old me.
I’m sorry I’ve done experiments with your hair so much – it was better the way it was and now it will never be the same.
I’m sorry I quit cricket – I know you loved it so much. I’m so, so sorry – studies couldn’t catch up with it. But you don’t regret it as much as you thought you would.
I’m sorry I didn’t use more of that cream on your scar or maybe I’m sorry I used as much as I did – because now, years later you’re still not comfortable with it and it pulls a stain on a lot of your relationships. But know that you’ve grown to accept that it’s part of who you are and there is no you without that scar.
I’m sorry I hurt that girl you cared about so much once you finally got her. You’ll know who I’m talking about in four years. That is something I didn’t mean, that was a mistake I regret the most.
On the topic of girls, I’m… I don’t know. But you’ll understand what it’s like to not use your brain and hopelessly listening to your heart. You’ll understand what it’s like to fall so quickly for someone you shouldn’t.
I’m sorry that I didn’t live up to everything you and everyone else knew I could be. I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to make dad proud and making him upset about my studies. I’m also sorry that everyone else led to you to believe you could do anything in the world and be amazing at it because sometimes that’s just not possible and it has nothing to do with you or how amazing you are.
Lastly, I’m sorry that everyone is falling in love and you couldn’t do anything about it and I’m sorry your scores still aren’t enough and I’m sorry that I didn’t study harder because maybe if I did, it would have been. But you’ll get to know this ain’t your field of interest.
I’m sorry you lose with some of your friends without any explanation but it’s okay, really. And I know it might not sound like it, but you are so happy right now. You have that sister – like best friend, you stay up untill 4 am binge watching Netflix, you learn so many new games and you still have your Sheeran with you. You still have the coolest dad around, and you are planning to get your first puppy but mom wouldn’t allow.
Oh and most of all, you haven’t lost sight of who you are. And you never, ever can. Shine bright, you crazy diamond. I love you and everything you have become.