The story I’ll never write

“It’s okay, I don’t need you at times like this. I don’t want you here. I don’t want you seeing me like this so please just go. Go the hell wherever you want.” She exclaimed without her voice breaking.

I looked into her eyes directly and I felt a pang of pain. I took a few steps back, shook my head and walked away from her. I was sobbing. To open yourself up to someone, especially if that person still love you no matter what. I was like that kind of a dork but she was little bit of a princess.

I am nothing but darkness and she knows I have always been afraid of the dark. I cried silently, I could hear the destruction of my heart loudly. I was right; I was like everybody else. I was an ordinary, simple, imperfect guy. I cried myself to sleep that night and hoped to god that let everything be okay. But this shitty world! It doesn’t let me be happy.

Next morning she came. “You’re probably thinking I was flighty last night. Yes I told you to leave because I wanted you to be strong without me. I know you can’t handle that thing that’s going in your head but I still want you to know I don’t want to save you. Because if I saved you, I will be your new source of dark days. That is why I let you go away from me. I’m like a grenade – I’ll explode. I’m not right!”

“I am here and I’m not going anywhere. You want to know why? I simply love you. No, it’s not simple, it is pretty much complicated in the best way but I want you to know that I’m staying. I don’t care what happened in our past, I don’t care about your flaws, when will you ever see that? I love you – in ways you cannot think I can”.

“What if we try and it won’t work?”, she said.

“Maybe you’d regret not trying anymore. All people do mistakes and it is somewhere right to do mistakes. But you know I’m right here in front of you whenever you need me. I know you’re scared with me. I am scared too. So let’s be scared together.”

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