“What are you saying? This is me and this is what I do. I shut people out whenever I feel like already gained control to break the person I love”, she said aloud. For the first time, she made those words passed off of her mouth without choking.
“You’re afraid that you might break me?”, I asked her. She was silent for a while. She is scared that she might break me. It’s like I’m a fragile glass that needs to be taken care of, I was emotional.
She is not stable, her thinking, the rapid beating of her heart, the high speed of her lungs expanding for air. “Yes, I am. I was doing this because I am protecting you. Can’t you see? I’m saving you from the upcoming tragedy that is already waving on you. I am keeping you safe from any pain you’re going to experience from loving me. So please, just let me do this. Let me keep you away from me because that is the best thing I can do now. Did you forgot I am a grenade? I’ll explode. I’m not good.”
“How is that you’re afraid of breaking me when I know well that I’m death of you? And please, there is no safer place for me than your arms”, I said while I was trying to stop her tears.
“No you don’t understand-”
“I do understand. You love me so much you’re afraid of hurting me. But isn’t that absurd? Pain is love’s twin and when I chose you, I already prepared myself, braced myself even that this is going to be an extraordinary journey for me and my love, you are such a wanderer. We both are. I’ll also like to explode but I’ll explode with you. Just I want you to trust me. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Let me be the Chandler to your Monica!