I’m the human form of Anxiety

The boy that’s always smiling tries to make everyone else happy. He loves when he can make someone laugh through their tears. When he can bring a little bit of hope into someone else’s life.

But he’s so busy worrying about everyone around him that he neglects his own life. He shoves his problems deep into his stomach so he can deal with everyone else’s issues. So he can be a good friend. He hides how he feels – even from the people that pull him aside and ask him how he’s doing. From the friends that honestly want to know what’s going on in his life.

He doesn’t want to bother them. He doesn’t want to weigh them down with his misery. So he claims that he’s fine. And, on rare occasions that he actually opens up about his problems, he makes them sound like a joke. He acts like he has no worries, so no one worries about him.

He’s a master at pretending. But he’s secretly miserable. He’s lost. He’s afraid. He’s afraid of losing more people who are close to him. He wishes that someone would see past his act. But no one does. No one ever does. Everyone assumes that unhappiness is obvious. They don’t realize that the boys with the wildest smiles have the deepest cracks in their hearts.

They don’t realize that you’re trying so hard to make everyone else happy, because you know how it feels like to be miserable, and you don’t think anyone deserves to feel that way. And they have no idea how strong you are. How much courage it takes for you to keep going – with a smile on your face and laughter on your lips.

You make living look easy. And you don’t get enough credit for that. There’s a magic, did you know that? I’ve seen the worst situations, but I keep finding silver linings. You will never find ‘Hate’ in my vocabulary. I’m an optimist, even when the world tries to force me into pessimism. There’s a warrior in that heartbeat of mine. It just keeps me going and it just keeps me believing.

Keep loving with that big heart. Keep wearing it on your sleeve. It’s woven in your very existence. Happiness is the only thing we can give without having. 

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