I wonder…

I wonder if I’ll ever stop falling for wits and charms that sweep me off my feet with no intention of carrying me. If I’ll continue to fall for words I want to hear that are not backed by actions. If I’ll continue to believe that maybe this time it’s different when it’s exactly the same.

I wonder if I’ll keep trying to fix all the people who are already unfixable. I wonder if I’ll keep cutting myself trying to put their shattered pieces together. I wonder if I’ll ever stop believing even if the odds are against me. Even if everyone is telling me to forget it, even if everyone is telling me it’s not right. I wonder if I’ll keep blindly following my heart without ever stopping to ask it where it’s taking me.

I remember all even if I tell you none, so when she asked me what else do you remember of old days? So I told her for me memories have turned blur I cannot see those, so how do you think I would feel or even keep them in the creeks of my mind. But the reality was, can we forget part our being that was once amputated? No we cannot, the truth is we never stop feeling the phantom pain for was once there.

I wonder if I’ll ever stop of falling. For those who want to explore more than love, who want to wander more.

It has been a while and I haven’t been able to forget. When I sit alone in the middle of the night, listening to the silence, I try to find the missing part of my life. I know that it can’t. I had often wondered what sadness feels like. I do, now it feels like everything is falling apart.

I wonder if we’ll ever be on the same page. Or will I always meet them at the wrong place or the wrong time. If I’ll always meet them when they’re still hurting from a love they lost or closing their hearts off because they’re scared.

~ Siddhant

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