I’m a cancer. I don’t mean the sickness, I mean the astrological sign. I’m a cancer. I’m emotional, intuitive, sensitive. In other words, I care about things. A lot.
The funny thing is that the word “Sensitive” is listed under both cancer’s good and bad traits. I am loving and emotional, shrewd and cautious, sensitive and nuturing. But on the flip side, I’m moody, over emotional and sensitive.
I’m begining to learn that life is nothing more than a series of paradoxical truths. It is walking contradiction. Sensitivity isn’t different thing. Under certain light and through the right pair of spectacles, it can took like something to aspire to but I came across many people who failed to understand me and my sensitivity. Sometimes I feel ashamed of that.
Say what you want to want about sensitivity, but I firmly believe that it breeds empathy. Because when you feel things deeply, when you let them shake you to your core, and relate to them in another people.
I feel for those whose writings gets rejected or is left unread by the specific person they want it to read. For the teenager wearing too much eyeliner and listening to gnash – I hate you, I love you. I feel for them because I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’ve felt the particular strand of shame. I’ve choked on that unique flavour of pain. And because I’m sensitive, I lingered there.
And even though there are things I’ll never understand, experiences I can’t even begin to imagine, my sensitivity introduced me to pain. And at some level, all pain is universal. Sensitivity opened the gates to understanding, empathy and kindness. It’s not everything, but it is something. It’s not the answer, but it’s a step in the right direction. And that’s a damn good place to start.
We’re living in a culture that only devalues sensitivity it actively attacks it. I’m going to give them all away and then probably cry and have a panic attack when something doesn’t work out because I’m sensitive and emotional.
But that’s okay. Because caring about things is cool. Putting yourself out there is brave. And if you’re the kind of person that does that that shows up every single day, you’ve probably going to be a little sensitive. Because you’ve put in the world. You’re vulnerable, so naturally you’re going to be sensitive.
Be sensitive. Feel things. Cry in the bath tub. And always remember – Be kind. Be empathetic. Fight back with everything you’ve got. Go to sleep. Do it again.